Fasting: Part 1

At the top of Mt. Suswa looking toward Mt. Longonot (on the left) in the beautiful Rift Valley

This post is from last October of last year when I had just returned from the caves for the first time. I started the post but didn't get around to publishing it. Since this time I've had the chance to return and also to reflect a little more on the experiences.
This past weekend I embarked on one of the most intimidating, scary and challenging spiritual disciplines for me: fasting. This experience was one of the memories I'll forever have with me from living with the Maasai. I had the privilege of being the first mzungu (white person) that we know of, to enter this holy place. We climbed up a mountain and entered caves... a place of prayer and fasting.

I feel like for several years I've been on this journey of wrestling with the idea of fasting; recognizing some potential benefit, but being too intimidated to actually dive into it fully. Maybe it was my spiritual immaturity but fasting was something that I did in the past mainly because I thought it was what I should do, perhaps it would help me connect with God. I really wanted to be obedient and seek God. I'm not completely sure my motivation was what it should have been, but I'd do it, only for a meal or maybe a day. At different times it seemed like God was asking me to fast, but I wasn't sure.

I was talking with a British friend not too long ago and she commented that when she had considered fasting, shortly after arriving in Kenya, she felt the Lord showed her that missionary life in so many ways is already like a fast. I deeply related to that thought. When I was growing up it was normal during Lent to give up something for that season in anticipation for the freedom of Easter. I'd give up chocolate or soda or something that I really enjoyed. It would be something that my youth group friends and I would do together. Fasting a lot of times is to abstain from food, but I suppose you can fast from a lot of things to help you focus on something else. Or maybe you give up something like TV to make time for something you want more time for. As a new missionary I don't know if you are mentally aware of it, but you deeply feel the reality of being away from your family and friends, you've given up your favorite foods, places to eat, your church and that fellowship. Most of the normal things you run to for comfort aren't really around. Because of all that has been removed you feel a similar heightened awareness to all that is happening around you and even to God--a similar feeling to the one you get while you are fasting.

In the past I've experienced fasting as such a lonely discipline. Even when I'd done it at a retreat with others also fasting we were instructed to be by ourselves. Other times I would fast alone and feel separated from others at meal times.

Jesus says in Matthew, 

"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you." 

So, I read this as saying, "Don't let people know you are fasting! Don't tell anyone, just do it by yourself in secret." After my experience with these Maasai Christians, I see a different aspect of fasting. I see a really beautiful new aspect of fellowship and joy in fasting. I read the passage from Matthew now to say that you shouldn't fast for the sake of showing others your sacrifice or to have others see how holy you are, rather, it's about connecting with God, worshiping Him and trusting Him to be enough. I'm seeing aspects of how much my individualistic culture influences how I read scripture. While fasting can be an individual discipline, it's also something that can be done in community. 

I have been studying the book of Esther and at the point of the story where she is contemplating whether to approach the King to appeal for the lives of her people at the risk of her life (approaching the King uninvited could mean death for her), she tells her uncle Mordecai to have all the Jews fast with her for 3 days and nights and she and her maidservants would also be fasting. They fasted together! It wasn't something Esther had to do alone, though approaching the King was something only she could do, she prepared herself for approaching the King with others. What? She didn't have to face that or prepare for it alone?! Fasting together was appealing to me, it just seemed right.

I began to ask God to give me people to fast with. 

My Muslim friends just finished their month of fasting, Ramadhan. They don't eat during daylight hours but many evenings I'd join them for dinner to break the fast with them after the sun went down. I was challenged by their discipline and faith during their "holy month." They seem to have a lot of unity in their faith as Muslim believers all over the world fasted together and gathered for prayer. I know that as Christians, we can approach our Father and know He hears our prayers anytime of the day, not just during a holy month, but seeing their discipline challenged my faith. I wondered, Is the church willing to sacrifice and go without in order to seek God? Am I willing? Continued...

My friend Rose braided my hair in preparation for the days ahead without showering

Descending into the caves... Let the adventure begin!